"I am a Child of God"

"I am a child of God...Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way. Teach me all that I must do to live with him someday."

 In the last few weeks I have been on a roller coaster. No, not the kind of roller coaster that we find at an amusement park, but the one that takes you on an emotional ride, going up and down, sideways and backwards and whatever other direction a person can go. I thought at first it was maybe a boy that was making me feel this way or maybe because of issues with a friend. But after a few embarrassing emotional break downs, a lot of prayer and some crazy Emma-ness, I realized that it had nothing to do with anyone else, it was all me. I had an eye opening experience while talking to a friend and realized I can't rely on others to make me happy. And by trying to be the person I think others want me to be I am actually giving my true self away, I am living a lie. If I can’t like the person that I am or who I am becoming then maybe I am on the wrong track. Here is the problem; I have been relying on other people to make me happy my entire life. I have been thinking that I can only be happy through the acceptance of the people around me. In all  honesty, I have more effect on myself than any other person I come in contact with, I have forgotten that I need to love myself and remember that my Savior loves me and He is who I should be most concerned about.

  I often find myself thinking, "Oh that person doesn't like me? They don’t agree with or think I’m doing this right? Well, I guess I need to change and I’m not doing well enough." This has been more of a subconscious thought than anything else, but so ingrained into my subconscious that I don’t realize I’m doing it, making myself miserable without even knowing it. But perhaps the very thing that attracts others to me is the things I think they don’t like. As a friend once said to me, “Be yourself. Live your life and people will be drawn to you.“ My grandfather also said, “Live with conviction and allow others to do the same.  Agree to disagree.  If everyone thought the same and acted the same we would only need one person in the world.”

And so, I would share with any of you that might be feeling a little down on yourself; like and appreciate the person you see in the mirror every day and step forward with confidence. It’s okay to make mistakes and to mess up. In fact, it’s good to make mistakes, because from those mistakes we grow.  It’s okay if you don’t think exactly like the next person. We are here to learn from each other. Share who you are with others and don’t hide what you believe and think. Don’t worry so much about what others think of you, but focus more on helping others.  Set goals. Work towards them. Strive to do your best. But remember that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. You are smart, beautiful, and you do matter. Believe in yourself and always remember….

You are a child of God. Be happy with who you are!